There's nothing really new on my front, but I thought I'd give a little update.
Still depressed and emotionally numb about the whole job thing. Like, what do I even do about that? The way everything happened just... I feel so absolutely yuck on the inside.
I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle everything, but I feel so isolated and alone. Like I don't want to see anyone I know; I don't want to explain what happened a million times. And I know, I know I don't owe anyone an explanation, but let's be real: if I don't give them one, they'll just be making it up in their heads.
I just feel so conflicted and sad, but I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to grieve just not for too long. Those people and that company clearly didn't care about me so why spend an excessive amount of time grieving their newfound absence in my life.
Here's to hoping the hollowness in my chest will slowly start going away sooner rather than later.
xoxo-
a girl who is completely lost
I just found your blog but I feel inspired to share something that has helped me a lot, I hope it helps bring you some peace of mind. I often find myself justifying my emotions, which my therapist pointed out. And I can accept that it's okay to be sad to an extent but I put a limit on myself, like "you can be sad but don't drag it you have to move on eventually". Buuuuut my therapist constantly reminds me that all our emotions serve a purpose, we need to allow ourselves to feel them and think about what that emotion is telling us we need. (ex. you feel lonely = you need someone to talk to). She also taught me it's important not to label emotions as good or bad, they're just emotions. And that there is no time limit to feeling things like grief, don't try to force yourself to feel "better". The most important thing is to take care of yourself!! I hope some positivity enters your life soon too though, sending love!!
ReplyDeletethat's so beautiful, and it's so ironic how we as humans can see it so clearly for others: that humanity is raw and messy and hurts sometimes, but when it comes to ourselves, our expectation is to have a perfect life.
Delete