m.i.a.

So I've kinda fallen off the deep end--

Life has been... unkind, to say the least, and I have been even more unkind to myself.

(I KNOW I KNOW I NEED TO STOP) 

But it is what it is, and I have to take every day as a chance to make stronger choices for myself. 

The other day was my birthday, and I was SO sad. I feel so disconnected from my life, my friends, my family, hell, even myself. Like, the day was good, but i was soooooo anxious and kept crying, and i just felt like such a burden. I felt sad because i knew i was going to be sad on my birthday. How frikkin dumb is that? 

being sad because im anticpating being sad...girl be so forreal. 

it's just i'm so overwhelmed and i want to be okay so desperately 

(and one day i will be but it seems endless right now)  

I've decided I will celebrate my birthday after I start feeling a little better in a few weeks. 

I've restarted my Depressed Girls Guide to A Better Life, Ive been going back to the gym and actually eating again so y'know baby steps.

As they say, progress isn't always easy. 

xoxo-  a girl who hopes no one out there feels like this because if you do i am here for you

i feel so out of wack. i have nothing. 

i have no job. no goals. no stability. no compassion for myself. 

i am hollow. 

one of those days...

 today is one of those days....

i didn't sleep well, i was having nightmares and then started getting a headache. 

now im up and i want to rot in bed. my hair is dirty and im so hungry but i just want to cry. 

my head is all screwed up. 

i know getting up and washing my hair will help, and cleaning up the house, too. I just- UGH- I wish i could snap my fingers and have the life i want. 

.✦ ݁confessions of a thriftoholic .✦ ݁˖

 divas, i CANNOT stop thrifting. 

Now I do have a few rules that im trying to follow:

RULE #1: For every two pieces I thrift, I have to purge one from my closet 

( i know it should be one in one out but giiiirl im not doing that, my closet is kind of getting to a point where i like everything and im attached) 

RULE #2: If i havent wore in in 6 months it goes in the donate/Depop pile. 

Note: seasonal items dont count unless i didnt wear them that season so just because its summer doesnt mean i have to get rid of my winter coats. 

 

Let me know if you want a thrift haul. 

xoxo- a thriftoholic

Rom-Com Reno: The Bathroom Part One⟢

 alright divas lets lock in on the Rom-Com Reno, i need a little pick-me-up. 

I figure before i can do any actual renovations; I need a blank slate. Now I won't be starting from complete blank slate scratch; I at minimum need to purge. 

Let's think through the three main areas of the room 

⟢Bedroom ⟢Bathroom ⟢Closet ⟢

Now step one is to clean these areas, and I will start with the least time-consuming to the most.

THE BATHROOM

Now in my bathroom, there are a few areas to focus on: the vanity/sink, the floor/toilet, and the bookshelves. 

The Vanity/Sink: 

⟢Clean Sink 

⟢Clean Mirror 

⟢Dust the Mirror 

⟢Clean inside the medicine Cabinet  

⟢Throw Away Trash / Get rid of expired products / Products I don't use

The Floor/ Toilet:

⟢Sweep/ Vacuum Floor 

⟢Wash Floor rug (and be honest, girl, you still have the Christmas one out) 

⟢Clean Toilet

The Shelves:

*Note: this is the most daunting part of my small bathroom because i dont know how to decorate them or organize them. 

⟢Do ALL of my laundry 

⟢Purge my Products (skin care/makeup/hair) 

⟢ Go through my shoes

⟢Throw Away Trash 

⟢Dust and wipe shelves

I will take some before and after videos pic if you guys comment; I'll post them. 

reminder: it's okay to not be okay

 Just reminding myself (and anyone reading) it's okay to not be okay.

People say when it rains it pours. Well, sometimes it drowns you too. Luckily, I know how to swim, but sometimes I get tired of endlessly treading water, waiting for the rain to subside and the water to recede. Sometimes I try to float, but the tidal waves pull me back under. 

I just crave a soft life.

I want to be delicate. 

 I long to be effortless.  

Here's to praying for the calm after the storm. Hopefully it will come and lull me into a peaceful state of mind, and I can be happy that I fought to survive. 

xoxo-

future me knows it's going to be okay 

𓂃 ོ☼𓂃beach day °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

Today I had a much-needed mini getaway; I went to the beach.

Now, was I absolutely exhausted waking up at the butt crack of dawn because me and grlbl0gger were, in fact, awake until 2am because we were DIY waxing my legs and watching Pretty Little Liars? 

Yes.

Did we then turn around and wake up at 7:30am to get ready for the beach just to basically take no pictures when we got there? 

Also, yes.

(Well, okay, we took 123 photos apparently, but the sun was so bright we couldn't see the photos and hated every single one) But alas, it was fun getting absolutely smashed by some waves and soaking up the sun. 

I would call today a success: ocean therapy and no sunburn.

xoxo-

a girl who didn't get sunburned  𓆝 𓆟 𓆞